I’m all out of order

there was a time where I would spend the entire morning with you before you had to go to work late afternoon.

and two hours later, on your break, you would beg me to come see you for those short 15 minutes.
there was a time where I would sneak out of my house at midnight just to sleep with you for a few hours because you asked me to.

and because I wasn’t able to see you the next day, you whined when I had to leave because a day felt like an eternity without me.
there was a time where we had spent 2 full days together and i was worried that you were beginning to get sick of me, but you reassured me that you never would.

but you don’t beg me to see you on your breaks anymore. you dont ask me to come over anymore. and if one day feels like an eternity than you must be in forever because I haven’t seen you in weeks. and you don’t reassure me anymore and you don’t say goodmorning anymore and you don’t hold my hand anymore.
and i miss you terribly. and i started smoking again. but I’ve also started writing again. and I’ve started reading again.

but I don’t eat. and i haven’t slept.
how am I supposed to look at it?

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