I started to think that maybe I’m not getting better, but I am getting better at dealing with this fact. I am basically the typical “joke about depression teen” when it has truly affected my life and the people around me. It’s a struggle to know that your own thoughts are bringing someone down along with you as they try to help you through it and when you refuse their help they insist which just drags them even further down with you. I love my friends. I love them enough to keep them in the dark now when I feel my world closing in on me. and lately, it’s been getting harder and harder to forget some things that make me want to tear my fucking hair out. But, every morning i wake up early, I take a long and warm shower and then I put on a face mask and cook myself some eggs. and for a while, I forget about how hard it’s all been on me. I sit in bed and remember some of the good times which yeah, make me a bit sad but it’s the good kind of sad. This whole time I’ve been aching to get better but really I just need to take care of myself. I need to go for more walks and read more books and take more pictures and talk to more people. This post sorta went all over the place but moral of it is that you can either pine for a better life and a better mindset or you can gradually work your way up the ladder and maybe get where you’re going with baby steps. Just…take care of yourself.