list of dos and donts when my depression gets bad again

Dos

  • do more things u like to do like writing & taking pictures and stuff idk go to an animal shelter and play with the pups

  • drink lots of water 

  • read more books so u can focus more on one thing bc you know a lot when you get bad you can’t think straight and reading helps take your mind off it

  • listen to happy music. like one direction or something. it brings your mood up.

  • talk to oliver bc he’s a damn good listener

  • detail shots put your mind to work and you love it. it always makes you feel just a little better and a little at a time is better than none at all.

  • clean. I know you hate it, but do it anyway because you’ll feel better when it’s done.

  • draw flowers. you love flowers.

  • plan your meals for the next week. we don’t need a repeat of July.

      Donts

      • nap. you’re always tired but you do not need more than 8 hours.
      • stay inside. walk around the block if u gotta but it’s ugly in your house and it’ll bring your mood down.
      • watch dog videos. they make you sad even when they have a happy ending.
      • bottle it up. you tend to do this, but it’s okay if your friends worry about you. it means they love you and care about you.
      • think too much. this gets you shaken. and panic attacks are not something you want added onto you.
        • listen to sad music, idiot . u know what I mean
        • shut down. this will push you deeper and you have to make sure there is a point where you can pull yourself out.

          DONT WORRY. YOU WILL BE OKAY. YOU HAVE GONE THROUGH THIS BEFORE AND YOU ARE STRONG.

          put urself together because u are amazing!!!

          and so, the sun will go down, and the noise will fade away. I will be alone in my room in my bed and I will not be able to hide the fact that I am truly hurt.

           I will pull out my pen and I will write about it. I will write of the tears and the sobs. I will cry and cover my mouth so no one hears me; even though I am alone.

           I will fall asleep and wake up with dark circles. I will go about my day while the sun is up like I’m doing just fine. 

          but the sun will always go down so I will always feel the hurt till I put myself together again.

          I hope i never make a home out of something that makes me weak

          I remember the best point in my life was early last year. no drama that I couldn’t suppress, no boy drama, no friend drama. it was wonderful. I was so sure of myself and who i was and i wish I could go back. it was a time when I was known for independence, a hurricane. I want to go back. I want to be seen as a hurricane . I don’t want to belong to anybody or anywhere except myself and i want to be content with that. yeah, love sounds wonderful too but so far none have wanted me to belong to myself first.

           or maybe I just have high standards. 

          whatever.

          I don’t want to settle for a boy who pulls up my shirts or who hates it when I hug my guy friends. I’m sick of it. it made me feel weak and it made me feel small.

          I just want someone who understands but no one understands better than i do and i think that’s beautiful.

          because being with myself makes me calm, and sure.

          I’ll wait for someone to match that.